How did you find out about BDSM?

[InnerTemptress]

How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle?

hmm ..

i am what most would consider a late bloomer. i didn't become sexually active until my mid-twenties and didn't actually enjoy sex until about 3 years ago. it was then, for my new years resolution year 2000, that i resolved to discover my inner temptress. part of that journey had me reading alot. i discovered erotic story website after website and read everything that i could get my hands on. meanwhile my partner at the time became my unwitting guinea pig (although i don't recall any complaining). i did then come across a story by darkpen on asstr. this story hit me like a brick and suddenly my fantasies had a name.

it took me another year to finally find someone that would act on the things that i wanted to experiment with and slowly but surely i have experienced the majority of the aspects relating to being a submissive.

What was its appeal to you?

quite simply i feel at home and very comfortable. so much so that i'm no longer embarrased to admit it to my friends. beyond that it has taken me to heights of pleasure i never dreamed possible.

What misconceptions did you have of BDSM before you began that have been changed now?

that being a submissive is being weak. i now know that this isn't true. a dominant once told me that the submissive has the ultimate control although it is not overt control.

What do you hope to learn/teach/pass on to others about BDSM?

i don't think that i am here yet. maybe one day i will have something to contribute to the community as a whole .. for now i just hope that my presence is positive.

Do you consider yourself a "lifestyler" or just an occasional player?

this is definitely going to be a lifestyle choice .. assuming i find the yang to my ying.

What do you enjoy about being dominant/submissive?

contentment and peace. i feel calmer. i no longer feel the need to play headgames. i seem to be happy with things that come my way instead of constantly wondering when it'll be my turn.

What do you like about your dominant/submissive(s), if you have one (them)?

one day ... *sigh*