her_Joe, your post made things a little clearer for me - and yes, i am very familiar with the concept of behavior modification. I myself am not a behaviorist so i do not favor forms of conditioning or behavior modification - i think they can be potentially very damaging to ones intrinsic motivation. I do, however, think that it CAN be done and CAN be effective if done properly. I obviously don't understand the scope of behavior you are trying to modify and that makes it hard to effectively give you my advice. The only time i would recommend such a method of conditioning is if they are life threatening behaviors or if they are severely detrimental to her every day life and even then i would only recommend it in very moderate levels and paired with your unconditional love and support. She shouldn’t think she’s going to get something material every time she behaves in an acceptable manner, she should, however, get much praise from you and that should entice her intrinsically. Eventually this should lead to her behaving in a way without reliance on material goods. She needs to understand why her behaviors are wrong and detrimental to herself or others- and that such behaviors are not acceptable for whatever reason. THAT needs to be why she stops that behavior - not “well if i do this, or i don’t do that, I’ll get _____" Her pleasing you does not even need to be looked at in a D/s manner -- just knowing you support her and are trying to help her grow and get over these behaviors should help her. But i can't stress how important it is that the ONLY reason she not engages in these behaviors is to get a material item in the end. You need to get to the root of why she behaves the way she does – only then can you begin to fix the problem. Jumping ahead to bribery and ignoring the root of the problem only will make matters worse and will only cause her to resort back to such behaviors when she becomes “bored” of the rewards you offer her.
I understand that dogs, CEO’s, and children can be bribed with money, trips, toys, and treats but just because something works doesn't make it right - or ethical for that matter. Rewards of money and material items have become a crutch for too many people such that they won't and can't not only behave but be effective without them. Don't get me wrong, i don’t sub to serve - I as well am a helpful person and love the feeling i get from knowing i helped -and knowing that it made a difference – I feel that everyday of my life because of my profession. I do sub because it takes both Adam and I to a whole new level of erotic intensity we wouldn’t otherwise be able to share. Its about a deeper meaning of trust, passion, and reliance.