that water alone makes the sensation worse when you're trying to get it off, so use copious amounts of soap.

We have a jar of "elbow grease: hot formula" that's an anal lube containing menthol that's not as intense or numbing as ben-gay but stronger than say hot KY. Also have a jar of ben-gay in the toy box.

Never had any trouble with either. Haven't really used ben-gay as a lube, just mostly to dab outside and maybe push a regularly lubed dildo/butt plug through it. Ben-gay is very intense and makes for a shorter play session because rather quickly you want it off.

Have fun.