Thanks nancy, for both doing the assignment again and for your nice comments on the story. One of the reasons I picked as one for students to pick apart, is that it has a lot of basic mistakes in it!

As my first story ever, I just wrote and didn't really follow any set writing rules. I was proud of it, but can see now I was lucky I had a plot that kept people interested!!

You have made some very good changes in the story, that do improve the flow.

For assignment 3, you need to either write the story up again, write it from a different point of view or write a background for the story. As you have already re-written the story above, I'd like you to either write it from Steve's point of view or write a chapter with some background on either of the two characters.