I read your post, Marachai, the day you posted it and it felt very honest, a really good introduction. Of course it's easier to introduce yourself in terms of being successful in what you wished to achieve, writing it as a success story, but one thing you'll get to see about this place is - everyone's permitted to try, you don't have to get it right the first time or even the third time. This is difficult stuff and, like you're aware, not accepted as a matter of course by the minstream.
You're right you need to get in touch with the r/l bdsm community - I feel a need to expand my lines there too - but you'll find lots of advice, friendship and, frankly, turn-on at this Forum. I hope you'll be around for some time.