Jasmine,

T, Nat and I thank you for your post. It meant a great deal to us.

All,

We wrestle with how much to tell, versus how much not to tell, every day. Just because we choose to keep our limits hard and probably more strict than other couples/partners doesn't mean that it's any more right or wrong. It's just right for us.

I've found that to keep a marriage relationship happy and healthy, it takes about 110% of effort from both parties. When you add someone else to the mix, it can either harm or help the relationship, but seldom does it have no affect at all.

My husband, T, wants, needs and deserves the majority of my attention whenever we are together. As a mother, daughter, friend and business owner, other relationships needs care and feeding as well. This means that playtime with Nat comes after all the other priorities in my life.

Notice, I didn't say my relationship with Nat was any less important than my other relationships, because it's not. It's just that our playtime doesn't get the top priority.

I like to be in very close contact with Nat every day whether it's a phone call, an e-mail, or a yahoo IM. We exchange pictures, jokes and stories. When we find a moment and I ask, "Do you want to play?" and I hear, "Yes, Miss.", then I know we are going to have a good time.

The more open I am with my men about my wants and desires, the more open they are with me about theirs. Honesty and mutual respect are critical to the success of this adventure.

By respecting each person's limits and keeping an open line of communication, the jealousy factor that creeps into any relationship, is kept to a minimum and often stamped out before it can attempt to drive a wedge between any of us.

All the best,

Ruby