"Barely Submissive"- A Question of Being

[tessa]

Him - You talk that way, no doubt, because you are not very advanced on this path of submission, but it will come. Perhaps you still wish to retain a certain control over the other
Me - Over the other... No, over myself, I think, above all
Him - Certainly, but that implies domination of the other
Me - Oh!
Me - I'm going to have to think about that.

Me too! Wow! Never, ever considered it quite in that way. Wow. But thanks to you, moptop, now I can.

Hi tessa,

Hi there, DarkPoet.

that's a difficult, quite philosophical question. I'm not sure if, with that constraint called life we all carry with us, something like "total submission" is really possible without a total loss of oneself. Submitting totally would mean loosing all those moments filled with excitement, fear and sweaty hands along with the joy, satisfaction and gratefulness afterwards of having been led (and having let myself be led) to overcome my limitations. I wouldn't want to loose that.

This as well- never considered it from this vantage point. I will now, however, that's for sure. And I will learn much because of it.

Sexual submission is a lot like mountain climbing. After the first excitement you find yourself really tasked, often insecure about the next steps. If you look up at your target, you don't think you can make it, but you keep on climbing because you know that there's a big reward waiting for you. Even if you hurt and are exhausted, you will yourself onwards, sometimes with bare millimeters of grip left for your aching fingers. And somehow you make it to the peak and experience a freedom only few others know, and you ride it as long as you can.

Ok, first... ~moans~ And secondly, this is a wonderful way of describing the journey. I'm very able to see this in an entirely new light thanks to your words.

Just an update here....I asked my dom if he thought I was still barely submissive or more like almost. He said that he thinks a fair argument could be made for me not being in the barely submissive category.

WOO HOO HOO!!!!!! Progress!!!!! I'm not hopeless after all.

You never were hopeless, sweetie. Not ever. ~hugs~