Wow, I didn’t expect to get so much support. I can’t tell you how much you all helped me -- just knowing that I’m not “off my rocker” and that people have survived similar situations is actually a confidence boost that I probably need which is great being that today starts day 1 of the 5 days I now have to go without talking to him (stupid boys weekend – grrr)


Explorer & Jack- I completely understand the over psychoanalyze everything. I’m working on my PhDs in clinical psych so the whole psychoanalytical thing is something I’m naturally good at which for me in said situation is kind of unfortunate……
Naomi & Aussie- Thanks, the tasks actually do help and I get those sometimes, most of the other times my nipples are sore from having been with him which is also a great reminder of him and my submission to him.
Polaris & Explorer- I cannot begin to tell you how much my mind races when it’s been 2 days since hearing from him. “Did I do something, did I say something, did he change his mind about me/this, should I call him, should I wait for him to call me, is he OK?” it’s enough to make me crazy. I know I just need to be confident in knowing that we’re “in deep enough” he’s not going to jump ship that easily – but we all know convincing oneself of that is much easier said than done.


Overall I think why he has such a hard time understanding what I’m going through is 2 fold. This is the first relationship he’s started as Ds, the subs before me he pretty much converted so once they had this great vanilla, loving, stable relationship going for them they worked into those roles. We’re obviously taking a different approach trying to establish it all at the same time and as I said it’s hard to know when to be in what role and then having to switch so quickly. That kind of leads into reason 2 he doesn’t really understand in that (no disrespect to any of the Doms here but) I think for them sometimes it’s easier – it’s one role all the time. Letting the submissive side out is letting yourself be vulnerable and needy – it’s hard to take the mask off and put it back on so quickly. Like you all said the last thing you want to come off as is clingy or needy but sometimes it just happens and he (like most Dom’s I know) can be so stoic with his emotions it just about kills me—good thing I feel them when we’re together. I don’t even think he understands that it irks me when I don’t hear from him for a few days not because i necessairly NEED to talk to him but I NEED to know he's physically ok --- it’s not out of sight out of mind anymore. I guess it all gets back to the “establishing all roles within the relationship at once” issue in some areas we’re moving fast and in some I don’t even know where we stand. UGH ok well here I go over analyzing everything again…..

Thanks again for everyone’s help!