Quote Originally Posted by quietkarin
Thanks so much for the links! Very helpful!
You are very welcome.

What you and your husband have to do now is find out what BDSM means to both of you.

Recently my husband reluctantly said he would try to Dom me if I ever let him know that I felt a great need for it.

I was touched by his offer but my Lord I've told him I do feel that need plenty of times.

Then he talked about how the kids would need to be out of the house and he wouldn't want to do it at a hotel room because of all the yelling.

Yelling???

I was suddenly terrified.

Yelling is not part of BDSM for me. In fact, I finally realized recently that yelling is a pretty serious red button issue with tons of baggage for me. In other words I freak out even if he's only yelling about football. He never actually yells at me and I still freak out.

So we had to talk that out. I don't know how well we did talking it out yet but it will come up again.

We talk a lot more now since I began to explore BDSM. I feel much more secure even though I already did feel secure. I like me better now. I like us better now too but it's not effort free to work on things like this, you know?

Fury