First test for your new sub

[annie]

ahhhhh reasonable d putting it back on track... lol

And yes I would agree. I can tell when it is "right." Although I will test the limits and such in my own way just to see...

[Sir_Russell]

This may upset quite a few, but I believe that most women hell the vast majority of women are submissive, and since they have been trained to be the same as a male they are unhappy in their life. I have had mostly successful intelligent sub/slaves. It isn't that are they submissive but are they willing and capable to let go and find their happiness and true self.

Conversely I don't know if most males are dominate, I fear that our current culture has trained them to be submissive in a very different way. Males today are trained to say and do anything to get laid. They marry and then find themselves doing things to please her so that she will suck on his cock for a minute or actually spread her legs once a week. oh well I don't work that way and hopefully never will.

Before the internet, open meetings of lifestylers I had to study each woman carefully to see if I could find the traits I wanted. This study lead to the verbal and physical tests to find out not if she was a sub but if she could let go and be true to herself.

[cadence]

I agree wholeheartedly with you Sir Russell.
I was unhappy for quite some time, until I started to dwelve into why.

It did take some time but I am in a place now where I know that I am ready to give myself over completely to another and be able to experience that peace of mind, I am constantly striving for.

I think that the vast majority of people are conditioned to think and act a particular way.
They become complacent and never really strive to look further into themselves, never acknowledging or being able experience another side they really didn't know they had.

[Sir_Russell]

well said delia, funny how many woman when they find out what I am tell me how wrong I am then later begin to ask question and some end up on their knees if not to me then to another more suited to them.

[Stone]

I can think of no better test than on your knees slut first it shows her willingness to obey second you get to test her skills at throat fucking

[Sir_Russell]

stone I think there is a lot of steps before that one if you want a sub/slave of quality

[wingsofanangel]

I agree. Sir Russell

and about the earlier conversation about women and taboos and such:

I have known since I was like... 7 that I was a submissive girl.

I loved watching "beauty and beast" it turned me on... how submissive belle had to be to beast.

even as a child I understood it.

My family believed in the theory or idea of the man working and running the house while the wife cooks and cleans and all that jazz. It was a very loving family and I love growing up in that sort of lifestyle.

I have always know that I wanted to be the 1950's kind of wife... so the kinky sex part is an added bonus..

While I am not perfect by any means and I am not the wife I want to be.. YET.. I am working towards it and show my submission in the little things..

and my gosh little by little hubby is catching on and he so very much is enjoying it both in and out of the bedroom. YES!

[Wedjat]

Mamy years ago (I think we'd seen "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" in the theater, if that tells you how long : ), I had a date with a fellow who was already somewhat of a friend. When he kissed me goodnight, he grabbed my hair and pulled my head back, and shared a truly amazing good night kiss. Things didn't work out with that particular fellow, but I have had that kiss in my fantasies for years. After a very vanilla, but reasonably happy marriage, (until the last few years of it) I decided that I wanted to try to explore what I call a submissive streak that I recognized in myself. So, I find myself in the dating field again as a widow with a teenage daughter - so it's not easy. I went out a couple of times with another fellow a while back, who was more of a Dom, and after telling him about the hair thing, he said he thought that reaction was to him a sign of a true sub. We parted friends, but it didn't work out, since he was looking for someone 24/7 and I wasn't even considering that at the time.

I've recently met someone on line who has taken more time to explain all of this to me, and actually was the one who told me about this site. I am now trying to find out just how submissive I might be. Thank you, Sir Russell, for your time and paitence with this newbie - you have opened my eyes up to something I hadn't even really considered before, as you know. I will be interested in where it leads.

[annie]

I agree. Sir Russell

and about the earlier conversation about women and taboos and such:

I have known since I was like... 7 that I was a submissive girl.

I loved watching "beauty and beast" it turned me on... how submissive belle had to be to beast.

even as a child I understood it.

My family believed in the theory or idea of the man working and running the house while the wife cooks and cleans and all that jazz. It was a very loving family and I love growing up in that sort of lifestyle.

I have always know that I wanted to be the 1950's kind of wife... so the kinky sex part is an added bonus..

While I am not perfect by any means and I am not the wife I want to be.. YET.. I am working towards it and show my submission in the little things..

and my gosh little by little hubby is catching on and he so very much is enjoying it both in and out of the bedroom. YES!

And my family dynamic was almost opposite. My father left when I was 2, had very little future contact with him. My mom was a single parent doing the best she could to raise my brother and I in a VERY small town and yet in many ways she was still a "Leave it to Beaver" type of mom, always involved, etc. My grandparents lived close (normally across the street... lol) but my grandmother was ALWAYS the one forced into may decisions because my grandfather didn't want too, etc. (Yep, I married my grandfather in some ways... lol.)

But, the one thing, even as strong and independent both of them said continually was "It would be nice to have someone to take care of me and make the decisions."

Then I saw it as... "you have to be a strong independent woman to survive because the opposite sex (or anyone) can't really be counted on to do it for you." Looking back now though I see that they both were caught, in the same circumstances that my "independent woman" thinking has lead me to be caught in. They both wanted to submit in many ways and yet, based on circumstances and life choices, couldn't.

So, understanding that, I know have to decide which is the best option (or combination of the two) that is right for me. And, in talking to them about it (although somewhat indirectly) neither of them understand why I would "let" someone have that much control while at the same time both agree that it would free me greatly to have someone capable (trusting?) to give that too.

ACK... just realized how off topic I wondered...sorry!

[Guest 91108]

Thinks on the first time with annie and what probably happened ... damn yummy.

nothing like being forceful with a woman.. grabbing her hair and slight jerk...
Watch her face and eyes.. if she is giving.. then oh damn will she be Taken..
er... getting back on track.. i think many women are submissive like Sir Russell said. I think it's a natural state for most.
And a good submissive is such more of a joy to be around for me... I don't have to give orders as if they have a slave heart they will seek to please me and get their pleasure from that. That is why I like the way i do things.

[ThisYouWillDo]

Can she stand the sight of me without vomiting?

Hell, if she can get over the nausea, she passes!

[annie]

Can she stand the sight of me without vomiting?

Hell, if she can get over the nausea, she passes!

THAT made me giggles! Thanks!

*goes off to figure out how to help TYWD with his self esteem or how to award his humor... not sure which! lol *

[Sir_Russell]

annie

I had a set of parents that could not stand each other but were old school so stayed together. The fights were constant and long lasting. Dad was brillant but never figured out how to deal with mom so was absent even when he was there.

I promised my self that I would not end up like that and to date I haven't. So I am the opposite of your experience I watched a man get cut to pieces and now I am his opposite, never tried to be him.

I would rather be alone then be screamed at and live in a constant stressed life because of anyone even those I love.

[Scorpio'sWill2Power]

For myself I have no definitive test in and of itself.

I only ask of them to look me straight in the eye upon
our meeting one another.
To speak to me with responses that come from an open
heart and mind and never look away while doing so.

There are simply those times with words exchanged,
thoughts shared that you can determine if something
inside each has found a spark within the other.

Submission in a physical form is not that difficult to
achieve through tales written on the pages of
the flesh.

I.E. using tools of the trade such as cane, clamps, clips,
paddles, hands, etc.

I prefer to see them from the inside, to know that
mind set within, what is desired or needed most in
this ultimate act of trust and sharing.

What other wonders we may achieve is just icing
on the cake as we've already created a delicious
recipe that both can share and enjoy.

[Logic1]

Talking to them for a few minutes normally tells me who they are.
Russel, I think you are quite right in your observations of women, but it sure differs where you live in the world aswell.

[sub4utoo]

Sir_Russell, I find myself agreeing with your thoughts. Though for myself, I have always known I am submissive. It was more that I did not fully understand my own feelings. I was married for 12 yrs to a wonderful man whom I still admire and now consider good friend. It sounds strange, but we are now divorced going on 5 yrs. He was and is not the type of person who could ever be dominant towards me.

It was not till soon after my divorce that I met a man who understood what I was feeling inside and helped me understand my my feelings and submissiveness. I will be forever thankful for his understanding and guidance.

This may upset quite a few, but I believe that most women hell the vast majority of women are submissive, and since they have been trained to be the same as a male they are unhappy in their life. I have had mostly successful intelligent sub/slaves. It isn't that are they submissive but are they willing and capable to let go and find their happiness and true self.

Conversely I don't know if most males are dominate, I fear that our current culture has trained them to be submissive in a very different way. Males today are trained to say and do anything to get laid. They marry and then find themselves doing things to please her so that she will suck on his cock for a minute or actually spread her legs once a week. oh well I don't work that way and hopefully never will.

Before the internet, open meetings of lifestylers I had to study each woman carefully to see if I could find the traits I wanted. This study lead to the verbal and physical tests to find out not if she was a sub but if she could let go and be true to herself.