The collar big deal or no?

[Barton]

Kats wears her collar 24/7. It is only a symbol of her submission to me but a very important one. The collar by itself does not make her my slave but it is an important symbol. So yes it is a big deal.

[Aesop]

I put my wife's ring on her finger at my wedding and she cried as I did it, looking at me with all the love in the world in her eyes. Less than 12 hours later I put her collar around her neck and got exactly the same response. I'll leave you all to judge it's importance.

[FurryFury]

I would hope that a collar would be a big deal. Really the only people who can say though are the ones involved with getting a collar. Some seem to do it pretty causally, that's okay I guess but if I did it, I'd want it to really mean something, something truly wonderful.

Fury

[buzzy]

I belong to my Mistress, if she had me put a collar on, I would wear it with pride. This is not a big deal with her, she knows I'm her's. lol I think it can be a desire of the domme' or sub to show ownership or being owned. If told to wear one as a sub, I would feel comfortable knowing it brought my Domme' pleasure to have me wear one

[Havensov]

Hip hip hazzah to all that have posted here. I love all the differing views on collars and collaring.

For me and my training Pet, we us the collar like as others have said as a symbol. But we do take it one step further. The way we have our relationship set up is kind of a mix of scene and 24/7. First off, we have two kids (7 years old and 6 months old) they are the most important parts of our lives. My wife (who is also training to be my Pet) takes care of them during the day while I am at work. We did not want out D/s relationship to affect my wife’s authority on the kids.

So this is what we have done, while she is training to be my Pet all the time she is only completely submissive when she is wearing her collar or when we are alone. By doing this we are not “sheltering” the kids for BDSM, it is more for if they see me controlling their mother they will get the idea that they can to.

So, we have a few collars ranging from large black leather with four hefty D rings around it for serous bondage, a medium purple leather one with spikes and only one D ring in the front, one of the thin cheep “every adult shop has it” leather one that says “Slave” across the front with snap closures, and I just finished making one out of chainmail European 4in1 weave (ask and I’ll explain) with a wonderful lock and key closer in the back. This one will be for public wear because it looks like a very nice flat chain choker, no one sees the lock in the back but it is fitted to her neck and she has said she feels it pressing at the small of her neck and is a very good reminder.

I also have My Collar. One that I have made that will represent me taking her as a full Pet. This one is very ornate with hard leather, doe skin, and fur lined with four medium D rings and a locking back. It is also have My Pet embossed into it. This will be worn mostly for alone play and parties.

Warning… One of the major reasons for so many collars is that I not only work the Ren Faires around MI, but I also know a good deal about working leather and chain. And if I don’t know it I know someone who does. Not every one has friends that give you the leather collar your wife was drooling over as hand fasting gifts.

Well this ended up longer then I expected, sorry about that.

[Timberwolf]

Oh, an older thread but one well worth bumping back up.

Personally, I've made it fairly clear when asked that I don't believe in what I sometimes view as an "undue" amount of formality to my D/s. But collars are, for me, the exception.

I take collars very seriously. I would never put on someone's collar if I was less than dead serious about it, personally. Nor would I collar anyone lightly. It's hard to explain why, but collars were actually the first D/s symbol of some sort that I can remember really "identifying" with in my early 20's, and they still have a fairly large effect on me.

To me personally, my collar is the symbol of my bond, my contract such as it exists, our love, our mutual respect, our trust, and my gift of service, as well as Her acceptance of that gift and the responsibility that comes with it.

So for me personally, I choose to put collars in a position where they hold a lot of meaning and are much more than a casual toy. If some choose to express those things in other ways, that's fine too. But for me a collar is the symbol and formality of choice.

[riverwindsong]

To me personally, my collar is the symbol of my bond, my contract such as it exists, our love, our mutual respect, our trust, and my gift of service, as well as Her acceptance of that gift and the responsibility that comes with it.

Well and beautifully said, Timberwolf. I completely agree with you.

While I don't wear a traditional leather collar, I do wear a silver chain for Master. It is my most treasured possession, and I wear it 24/7 with great pride. It is a tangible reminder that he is there always, watching over me, as well as being a symbol of my absolute trust and faith in him and the awesome responsibility he has. I wouldn't have it be any other way.

[selkie]

Its interesting to see all the different perceptions of the meaning and/or need of a collar. What that does of course, is underline the reality that relationships in this lifestyle are as varied and unique as the individuals as in any relationship in the more plebian world.

For me, first and foremost a collar is an outward symbol of the relationship bewteen D. and I - I wear one all the time. He has provided me with a variety in order to satisfy convention and because the reality is that my favourite - a 2 inch leather black collar with an large silver "O" ring would not go down well in the conservative firm in which I work - I have some magnificant solid silver ones which I adore are are along the lines of a "slave" necklace (although I am a submissive,not a slave).

The collar, oddly enough, is more important to me than my wedding ring (yes, we are also more conventionally married as well) - and I actually don't wear my wedding ring as I don't care for rings of any kind.

But I find a sense of comfort, even nourishment when I feel my collar around my neck ... knowing he put it here, that I am cherisihed and valued and loved...

[cariad]

Reading this thread is the first time I have seen the link between wedding rings and collars publically discussed. It is a conversation which I have had a few times with my 'real-life' partner, and whilst he says he cannot wait for the day when he will put something other than a play collar around my neck, it will, as Aesop described, come a few hours after he puts a wedding ring on my finger.

cariad

[buzzy]

I'm a romantic at heart, so to me a collar would be worn as a sign of commitment in the relationship. Wearing one in play would not have the same meaning as one worn to show those who know, I'm "collared". NOw, does "she" think the same way?, if not then it has no meaning. So, yes I think it's when a "couple" find themselves at that place and time and have the mutual feeling of a collar that it takes on the symbolism just a thought take care

[Ozme52]

But there are many kinds of "commitment" rings, from marriage to engagement to going steady to friendship rings... as well as rings of affiliation to schools, societies, fraternities and sororities...

So are there many levels of collaring... so long as both parties understand and agree to the meanings and the levels of such collarings... Not all need be worn around the neck. Bracelets or anklets can also represent the shackes or manacles of being bonded.

[master 327-834-200]

Ozme makes a good point and I want to point out that in any kind of relationship there are many symbols that mark important moments. The most important factor is that each person is fully aware of the sybolism of the act. Too often there is a disparity of understanding. When it means something different to each person is a recipe for confusion.

You see this especially when young men give young women items of jewelry. Men so often do not imbibe the situation with the same sense of occasion as women do.