An excellent thread and one I think that should be "required reading" for anyone in the Life, whether newbie, "just curious," or veteran because it gives such a deep and wide perspective of so many issues. Most importantly, it emphasizes the need for mutual trust and clear, open, emotional communication.

I find it amusing sometimes that people focus so much on opposites -- the strength of a Dominant, the weakness of the submissive. They take them as labels and ideals and try desperately sometimes to mold a real human being into a lifeless husk labeled "This" and "That." And then they feel they have failed if they don't conform to the ideal. If you expect perfection in another human being, you're involved in a shell game where you will never, ever find the hidden pea. Relationships are organic. They live in a mutually created "world" separate from ideals and catastrophes. No one is a perfect slave or sub and no one is a perfect Dom or Domme. But they are human and hopefully humane. Emotional closeness and even sentiment may make someone appear "as perfect as it gets." And why should'n't we be gloriously happy with that? Sure, strive to be more...but it has to be more "you" whatever that may mean at any given time. As imperfect humans, we can easily misinterpret one thing for another, trust for suspicion, concern for jealousy, and strength for weakness. Don't the participants in every relationship create mutually accepted definitions of what these things are and mean? So should it be with the arbitrary terms "slave" "sub" "Master" "Domina" or whatever other terms you use to identify yourself by. Otherwise, we sink into dogma and cant and relationships become fossilized into lifeless rite and ritual. We're better than that. And our relationships can be far better than that. And, for Goddess' sake, put some fun into it, too. It's not weak to laugh or to cry or to feel your own frailty or take the occasional ego trip or even to be a little silly. It's human. It's life.