So you are hurt emotionally that he lashed out at you like that but you enjoyed it before you knew that he was lashing out due to his unhappiness and anger?

That's what I'm saying. You enjoyed what he did before. The context has changed but I'll bet that was one of the best sessions you ever had with him before the context changed. So I'd say that you could channel it if you could get past this hurt.

You are most welcome. I don't have a huge amount of experience in BDSM but I do have some with pulling a husband into it when he claims he doesn't want to go there.

I'm sorry the three sessions had nothing in them to please you. It makes me wonder if he isn't trying to kill your hunger for this sort of play by making you do what he knows you do NOT like. I can see a guy doing that. Give her enough of her own medicine and she'll quit wanting it but in my case he would just possibly drive me to someone who would do the things I had a deep need for. I've been tempted to do so a along. It's only my love and trust with him that keeps me from doing that. If I thought he were playing those sorts of games with me, it would piss me off, possibly bad enough to be selfish enough to go for what I deeply feel driven to.

Good luck to you!

I'll be thinking about you.

*HUGS*
Thanks! It wasn't the best session we'd ever had, it was nice, but I had enjoyed what he was doing. I don't think anger like that should be channelled - I'd rather not play with somebody who has so little regard for me.

I don't think he was trying to kill my hunger - I think that he just didn't consider my needs at all.

Just saw this thread. Tourguide is correct. What he did breaks all the rules for a dom. Severly.

This is no little thing. To hit your submissive in anger is so basicly wrong that it almost defies description. You do not ever punish when you are angry or scene with a motive like revenge. This goes beyond all common sense.
He has shown that he is not to be trusted. This is not a game when it gets like that.
This is my thinking too. I felt really betrayed by his behaviour. I do try to do anything that he wants, and as far as I was aware I had done nothing wrong, so it came as a bit of a shock.
Agreed about a dom never using revenge as a motivator in a scene.

However, what about a non-dom trying to get into it? I can see where it might help him to get to that point. Nothing I'd trust for scening into the future and nothing I'd want to be on the receiving ends of. But I can see it being used as a means to an ends for a non-sadist to give a masochist what they want pain-wise.

The one thing that does really concern me is that your husband was even looking for revenge in the first place, but never discussed with you any issue he had to begin with.
Agreed. How do I know when he is going to be angry with me and therefore not safe to scene with if he doesn't tell me?