Saying the "L" word...

[Ozme52]

Now, to answer the original question, here is my opinion:

- Men in general are not that much into making big words about that feeling, they feel more comfortable with proving their feeling by actions and facts. I. e., if they did not like to be with you, they would have left already.
If they say it at all, I think it is mainly done to please us.
An evil example of this would be a guy who treats the woman like shit, and when she complains, he would say "BUT I love you!!"
Regarding that, I go with a friend who once formulated that fact as "Actions speak louder than words."

- I also got the impression that men prefer to speak their feelings only if they can be sure they are met by the woman´s feelings. So help the poor guy and say it first! *lol*I do not think there is a difference between men and Dom men. It is not like Dom men were an extra species.

Arria, I think this is certainly true among younger men before their self-confidence kicks in.

I also think that there is good reason to discuss the meaning of the word 'Love' between couples. From the "Hate" thread, of all places, I wrote:

Love my parents.
Love my father.
Love my mother.
Love my brother and/or sisters.
Love my friends.
Love my best friend.
Love my girl/boy friend.
Love my spouse.
Love my children.
Love my country.
Love a cold beer on a hot day.

One word. So many nuances of meaning. Each a different emotion. (...)

The subject is always the same... the object changes the meaning of the verb.

I think another reason men avoid using the word is because they assume doing so is a commitment to exactly the same kind and level of love the woman means... yet without knowing what kind or level of love she means. I suspect we just don't comunicate enough about the definitions.

I'm much more comfortable now than I was as a young man expressing my feelings... in part because I recognize the gamut of meanings implied and because I try to have that conversation. I recognize it is a small gift that gives great pleasure and I'm more willing to give it when it is understood by both what level of commitment goes with it.

The only ones who might have trouble speaking kind words are wannabe Doms who think it appropriate for a Dom to show an allover inconsiderate, impolite behaviour, like not opening doors for a sub woman, or not offering their seating place in a train for an elderly person.

This sort of wannabe Dom disgusts me, and I treat them with less respect, reverence and kindness than any other person, both within the BDSM community and outside. The ones of you who got an impression of me already are likely to know that. :-)

I agree, but also question when "love" is used too freely. To an extent where it becomes pro forma and is given without any emotional content. It becomes the equivilent of a "Hi, How are ya?" Just given because it is an expectation.