TheVariableX's 2nd assignment

[Dragon's muse]

Craft a story with the following opening.

Out of habit, Margot checked the doorknob and sighed. It was locked; they never forgot to lock her in.

[TheVariableX]

Could you substitute a different name? I know a Margot and I prefer to avoid that sort of thing.

[Dragon's muse]

No problem, pick a name that works for you.

[TheVariableX]

Out of habit, Melissa checked the doorknob and sighed. It was locked; they never forgot to lock her in. A fortnight had passed since she had been lured to this creepy mansion by the promise of work. It was supposed to be a working holiday in Italy; teaching the children of Marchese Giovanni. So far Margot had not seen any indication that the Marchese even had children.

Melissa sat naked and alone in the dark guest bedroom. She tried to keep track of time by listening to the far away chiming of an antique grandfather clock; the last chime had been 5pm. No sunlight entered the room; the windows seemed to have been boarded up long ago.

Each day Melissa was locked away in her room; her cell. All her luggage had mysteriously gone missing during her first night in the dilapidated mansion. Her host ignored any inquiries into the matter, and began providing her suitable clothing for each night. It seemed suitable was in the eye of the beholder.

Her preferences were simple as far as clothes went; running shoes, shorts or jeans and a shirt or sports bra. The Marchese tastes were far more elaborate. Inevitably every outfit would involve a pile of sexy lingerie; usually black and lacy.

The first time Melissa was presented with the sexy undergarments she decided to humor her host and take the opportunity to play dress up. The sexy thong panties were simple enough, and Melissa even managed to dress herself in the stockings and unfamiliar garter belt. She had eyed the elaborate leather corset suspiciously and at first decided not to wear it. After stepping into the long black skirt Melissa realized the pile of clothes now consisted only of gloves, boots and the corset.

Melissa allowed the maid to help her into the corset. The demi plunge corset revealed ample amounts of Melissa's pale bosom, and made her very conscious of her sex. She had always strove to be more than just a pretty face; pursuing her schooling and music. Melissa realized now more than ever how easy it would be for her to cruise through life on her looks alone.

Melissa finally donned the gloves and boots. The long black gloves felt very elegant; while the high heeled boots were uncomfortable at best. Melissa spent some time practicing standing and walking in the dangerously high heels. The delay seemed to gnaw at the young maid.

When Melissa sat to comb her long raven hair the maid began to pace and twitch. When the servant could bear the delays no longer she snapped "We must go now! Please. The master has a terrible temper."

Melissa took note of the number of bruises on the pretty redheads arms and neck. While the servant girl had been bending over to lace Melissa's boots Melissa had a clear view of her behind in the mirror. She had noticed lines of red welts across the servant's nude bottom. Melissa decided perhaps it was best not to keep the Marchese waiting. She had been so sure she could reason with her host.

That had been two weeks ago. Melissa had learned that the Marchese Giovanni was not only unreasonable and violent, but probably insane. She knew his madness would eventually destroy her if she could not escape. Out of habit, Melissa checked the doorknob and sighed. It was locked; they never forgot to lock her in.

[Playfulsub]

Nice start to a great story. Check your third sentence, though. You use Margot instead of Melissa.

[TheVariableX]

Ah crap, thanks.

[ladychipmunk]

Really nice

It drew me in I want to know what happened at the first meeting with the Marchese!

I really like the repetition of the opening of the scene at the close.

[Dragon's muse]

i love the echoing of the first line for the last line. That really makes it pop, gives a sense of resignation. Very nice. Deft characterization. Lots of ways for the story to go. i will get your next assignment posted today.

Out of habit, Melissa checked the doorknob and sighed. It was locked; they never forgot to lock her in. A fortnight had passed since she had been lured to this creepy mansion by the promise of work. It was supposed to be a working holiday in Italy; teaching the children of Marchese Giovanni. So far Margot (no big deal) had not seen any indication that the Marchese even had children.

Melissa sat naked and alone in the dark guest bedroom. She tried to keep track of time by listening to the far away chiming of an antique grandfather clock; the last chime had been 5pm. No sunlight entered the room; the windows seemed to have been boarded up long ago.

Each day Melissa was locked away in her room; her cell. All her luggage had mysteriously gone missing during her first night in the dilapidated mansion. Her host ignored any inquiries into the matter, and began providing her suitable clothing for each night. It seemed suitable was in the eye of the beholder.

Her preferences were simple as far as clothes went; running shoes, shorts or jeans and a shirt or sports bra. The Marchese tastes were far more elaborate. Inevitably, every outfit would involve a pile of sexy lingerie; (,)usually black and lacy.

The first time Melissa was presented with the sexy undergarments she decided to humor her host and take the opportunity to play dress up. The sexy thong panties were simple enough, and Melissa even managed to dress herself in the stockings and unfamiliar garter belt. She had eyed the elaborate leather corset suspiciously and at first decided not to wear it. After stepping into the long black skirt Melissa realized the pile of clothes now consisted only of gloves, boots and the corset.

Melissa allowed the maid to help her into the corset. The demi plunge corset revealed ample amounts of Melissa's pale bosom, and made her very conscious of her sex. She had always strove to be more than just a pretty face; pursuing her schooling and music. Melissa realized, now more than ever, how easy it would be for her (delete) to cruise through life on her looks alone.

Melissa finally donned the gloves and boots. The long black gloves felt very elegant; while the high heeled boots were uncomfortable at best. Melissa spent some time practicing standing and walking in the dangerously high heels. The delay seemed to gnaw at the young maid.

When Melissa sat to comb her long raven hair, the maid began to pace and twitch. When the servant could bear the delays no longer she snapped, "We must go now! Please. The master has a terrible temper."

Melissa took note of the number of bruises on the pretty redhead's arms and neck. While the servant girl had been bending over to lace Melissa's boots Melissa had a clear view of her behind in the mirror. She had noticed lines of red welts across the servant's nude bottom. Melissa decided perhaps it was best not to keep the Marchese waiting. She had been so sure she could reason with her host.

That had been two weeks ago. Melissa had learned that the Marchese Giovanni was not only unreasonable and violent, but probably insane. She knew his madness would eventually destroy her if she could not escape. Out of habit, Melissa checked the doorknob and sighed. It was locked; they never forgot to lock her in.

[Mad Lews]

There was an English writer named Manning Cole whose trademark was that his first and last chapter were always identical. It's just that the story sandwiched between totally changed the meaning. (he wrote mostly pre MI-5 spy stories and mysteries) anyway your short reminded me of that clever ploy. Though in your case the repetition served to emphasize her plight, not cast it in a new light.
Mad Lews

[TheVariableX]

That sounds very interesting. Same line, but evolved to have an entirely different meaning. I like it.