
Originally Posted by
Blue_Monday
I think BaldJean has a point there. To some extent, I feel safer when I know my partner isn't carried away with his passion--I know that he's in control. If the Dom isn't controlling things (including himself!), then who is?
Maybe because I consider a lack of passion a sign of control, I most often fantasize about passionless men--scientists, etc.
I do, of course, want my partner to enjoy himself, satisfy himself, and, very importantly, to love me and care about me. If I thought that he really were cold or uncaring, then I wouldn't feel safe.
When I play the Domme, I am a bit on the cold side myself. I just don't feel like I'm in control if I'm overcome with emotion or pleasure. I really want to take my baby on a roller-coaster ride, and I feel like it's my job to keep my feet on the ground the whole time.
But.... maybe we're all just defining passion differently. If passion means losing control, I don't really like it in BDSM. If it means deep love, caring, respect, and enjoyment, then I consider it a necessity!