Relationships outside of marriage

[annie]

I have no intention of renegotiating this topic with my husband - and yes, I have a D/s relationship outside my marriage. I didn't go looking for it, it just happened. And I wasn't willing or able to pass up the opportunity. Does that make me a bad person, a bad wife? By society's definition, yes. Am I ignoring my husband for this other person? No. Am I entirely happy about my decision? No. But I'm able to live with it. I love my husband and intend to spend the rest of my life with him and will do everything in my power to ensure he never knows. And I'll deal with the consequences if he ever finds out - good or bad. And yes, I know it would be bad.

But for now, I have my husband - the man I've been with for 22+ years, and I have Him - the Dom I hope to have for many years to come. And I am okay with the situation and rapidly finding the internal balance I need to make it work for me.

*Commence throwing rotten tomatoes*

well i can only speak for myself, my situation and what "works" for me, yes i am married 14+ years, have 2 children and care for my 85 yr old mother, and yes i have a r/l relationship outside of marriage, divorce at this time would be financial ruin for the father of my children, my Dom has my complete trust and respect, knows all of my life, supports me emotionally, fulfills me and makes me so much more of a mother, woman, and caretaker. my ideal would be to be with Him 24/7, and we are working towards that...but for now my children and my responsibilites here keep me here...i have been in therapy and have asked my husband to go also, he has refused, he refuses to discuss our marriage, has little interest in sex and his response to my bringing up the subject of divorce has been only that "if it is what i want".... i do not look or ask for "acceptance" of this from anyone, my children are my priority but i refused to continue to put my needs on hold or deny myself this part of my life, i do not need to prove my trustworthiness or honesty to anyone but MR, His actions have made His intentions clear, He has made it clear that my children come first, and that He is serious in His commitment to the collar He placed on me...

i will not call it okay, nor will i ask for anyone's "approval" of it, it is what it is, at 42 and living and losing what i have, i am living what i need, and should i be so lucky i will eventually not have the duality to maintain, but until then this is how my life is, how my heart continues to beat

cali

Joins Cali and Jeanne.... because I have been there done that, in the exact same fashion for a majority of the exact same reason.... and in retrospect, there is very little I would have changed about it. A relationship outside of my marriage was, at one point, the only thing that kept me safe and here for my kids. I can't regret or feel bad about that although I do feel bad about how/why it came about, but the how/why was not entirely my choice and I did try other options prior to making the choice I made.