Relationships outside of marriage

[Isabelle90]

I need a new car!!

Did you notice the part about NOT having the billion dollars?!! Santa might be a better fictitious character to ask. (Hope I didn't just give away the secret to an unknowing soul!)

I suggest you start another thread.
This one probably hasn't run its course yet.

Really? I was trying to lighten the mood.

respectfully i can only speak for myself, i hope that my children never think of their lives as a lie, that they realize their parents are and were not perfect, are human and did and do make the choices that they believe are the best at the time. Personally i've had friends whose parents divorced and they are sure things would have been better if they'd stuck it out, and ones who wished that mom and dad had called it quits, it is impossible to step into anyone else's shoes. i balance each and every decision i make as i'm sure others do in their circumstances. So i never expect to have to explain to my kids anything about their lives not being anything but real, with the ups and downs, foibles and follies and all else that life entails. So something to think about for me each day is that i love my kids beyond words (and they know it!)...their life is real, their mom is human and the good bad and ugly, she works to give them the best life, not the perfect life, the best...they may or may not agree or disagree with the choices made, but there will never be a moment they can doubt that it was made with the best intentions

So, the kids grow up thinking mom and dad are happy and everything is fine, and after about 18 years, when they're teens, you tell them you're divorcing....um....okay....well....my ex-sister-in-law did that. Her kids had the $120 Adidas sneakers and whatever else they wanted growing up, but when she dropped the D bomb, her kids went ballistic! Her daughter had just graduated from high school. She ran off from home and got pregnant instead of going to college. Her middle child graduated the next year and joined the Marines to get away. Her youngest got ulcers. They barely have anything to do with their father. So much for the kids being old enough to "handle" it....

My son was 2. I don't think he even remembers us together, which is probably a good thing. We have to do what we think is best. Sometimes, we're wrong. My mom was wrong. I don't know if I was wrong or not, yet. I sure as hell hope I haven't screwed up my kid for life! *sigh*

My parents divorced when I was 25 after 27 years of marriage. I was an adult, but it was painful. The only relationship outside of marriage was one with alcohol. Anyway, even now it is difficult for our family to be together. My brother and I have children and refuse to have separate birthdays, baptisms, etc.

Here's the deal (in my mind - which we all know is questionable) I believe that as parents, we set the foundation for our children. How they "turn out" is ultimately determined by our parenting skills, or lack thereof. One cannot really judge the parenting skills of another based on the follies of teenagers. (Flaming Red, you probably know more about your nieces' & nephews' upbringing to have a greater understanding of their particular situation.) It's the end result that speaks volumes.

Flaming Red & Cali, I think you are both doing what you think is best for YOU and YOURS! Isn't that the best thing all around?