I just read through this again after a good bit of time. Almost a year?!? Wow. Seriously...wow.

Reading Jim's post made me cry and cry. But in a good way. I'm so glad I listened to him and approached my husband in the first place. This journey has been NOTHING like I expected, but wonderful nonetheless. Thanks Mr. Rabbit. ~sends him a kiss in heaven~

All the responses I had saying, "be patient", "this takes time", well to be honest, a year ago, they just pissed me off. But I was stupid then. Now I know better.

See? Blondes aren't so dumb after all.

Communication. If there was one word I can use to sum up the key to all this, that would be it. Open, honest, from the heart, don't care if it hurts your feelings a little right now because it needs to be said, Communication. I can't say it boldly or more colorfully than that. The effectiveness of it will make or break the relationship. If I hold back in being open, he holds back the same. He holds back and keeps to himself, so do I. But when we both stop filtering and speak our hearts and minds, it works. And very well. Please try it sometime for yourself and see.

One thing I've come to know as a major truth- he really can't read my mind. And dammit. That would make life so much simpler. But here's another truth- I can't read his either. And he kinda thought I could. It's made for a few rough patches along the way. So to all of you trying this out, remember- NO ONE, not even the most perfectly insightful Dominant, nor the most wonderfully intuitive submissive, can read minds. It eliminates a lot of the anger and resentment when you realize this truth for yourself. You stop placing unrealistic expectations on the other when you know the reading another's mind is a fallacy created in sickeningly sweet fairy tales. Say what you're thinking or the other won't know. Period.

Another thing I just have to say. It is impossible to know where this journey will go from here. I've stopped trying to plan it out as that's pretty much impossible as well. It follows it's own path, meandering here and there sometimes, and at other times blazing a trail you never imagined could exist. And watch out for those rocky edges as you go. They can be difficult to navigate and a bitch to climb back up if you go over.

Basically, what I've learned since getting into this is...(drum roll please)...I know nothing. Not one single thing.

But I'm learning. And I'll keep learning. Because I want to. Because I need to.

And because you can't buy this kind of high. I'm completely addicted.

The BDSM addicted Subbierella. Now that's a tale ~giggles~ I could sink my teeth into. And claws. Can't forget those.