There are times when I too struggle with this. When I am feeling particularly crappy under the weather, stressed I have less of a desire to submit. One such instance happened just last night. I was exhausted the long weekend screwed with me and I am trying to get used to being up at the god awful butt crack of dawn again. I had little to no desire to play. However, hubby had other ideas. It is in my nature to submit to him and I did. However since I was not in that sub mind frame I was admitedly being selfish and only caring about myself the session was HORRIBLE. I did try to get into my normal sub mindframe but I just couldn't get it done. I had NO pain tollerance whatsoever I began crying as soon as I had nipple clamps placed on, the restraints were to tight and so on and so forth. In my defense one hand was too tightly restrained but he did eventually get around to fixing this. Overall the experience was Ho hum for both of us. Hubby while satisfied physically was obviously let down by my lack of total submission and I walked away feeling like total shit about myself because I was unable to fully submit. I appologized about a million times before we went to bed.

My moral is this sometimes people need a little time. It may be only a day it may be a week, depending on the person it may be more. I think it is very important for a Dom/me to have patience with his/her sub. Just because I have an "off" night doesn't mean that I am any less willing or any less eager to serve my husband. It is just an "off" night. I am sure everyone will agree too that we certainly aren't looking for Ho hum experiences if that were the case we would all be "vanilla". I myself am looking for fireworks and I tend to be way more eager to play and serve when I have been given time to soothe and solve my own personal inner conflicts sometimes with and sometimes without the help and or guidance of my Dom.