Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle?
It was back in the 70's. I was a teenager in Europe and there was this monthly magazine -- which I think still exists -- that was surfing the wave of the social upheaval of 1968 and specialized in sexology. I used to buy it secretly almost every month and I must say that apart from the basic birds and bees stuff this is how I got most of my sex ed.

From time to time they ran these strange articles about strange people doing strange things in strange places. Some seemed to get their kicks out of being nasty to other people while others were said to enjoy pain and abuse. Certifiable idiots, no doubt...

This, however, taught me that other people seemed to feel like I did when I looked at pictures like the one I posted on page 12 of the 'Favorite picture' thread.

Then I heard about Sade's books and The story of O.

I discovered much later that BDSM could be more than just sexual play but could actually be a lifestyle.


Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
What was its appeal to you?
The feeling of being overwhelmed by somebody else's power/charisma/personality/whatever and to voluntarily give myself to him. Wishing to feel for someone like I assumed my dog felt for me.

Of course, all this had to be both physically and mentally felt. This is where pain, humiliation and degradation started to look appealing.

I must admit that being able to give someone the same look of total love and submission that a dog gives its master that has just kicked it is an achievement I would actually be proud of; but I do not know whether I am capable of it or not.


Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
What misconceptions did you have of BDSM before you began that have been changed now?
Probably like most people, I first believed that:
  • BDSM-inclined people were freaks
  • the top had all the fun
  • the top did not really love the sub ("I love you; I hurt you" simply did not make sense)
  • the top was in charge

Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
What do you hope to learn/teach/pass on to others about BDSM?
Considering I have almost no experience in the matter this is a tricky one for me and I suppose I should really pass on it. I have the feeling, however, that BDSM is not the opposite of vanilla but its enhancement. It seems to me there is some kind of continuum that starts with someone's preference for hugging or being hugged and goes all the way to religious mystics of all faiths who readily accept (even seek) martyrdom and die happily in the belief it will please their Lord.

If I am correct, the question is not whether you live on BDSM street or not, but where about along that street do you (currenty) live.

I would love to hear what 'seasoned practitioners' feel about that.


Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
Do you consider yourself a "lifestyler" or just an occasional player?
Being able to consider myself an occasional player would already be good... *not so happy smile*


Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
]What do you enjoy about being dominant/submissive?
I reckon my fantasies of being a top are motivated by my insecurity that makes me want to be in charge, by my insecurity that makes me want to be needed and liked (adored will do, too), and by my insecurity that makes me want to feel useful by taking care of someone.

As a bottom, I would love to meet someone I could trust 300% and with whom I could completely let go. Then again... pigs might fly.
Did I mention I was insecure?

In the meantime I will top, either from the top of from the bottom.


Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
What do you like about your dominant/submissive(s), if you have one (them)?
At the moment what I prefer about him is that he is a fantasy and therefore 100% like I want him to be... *not so happy smile*

Cheers