Quote Originally Posted by Ozme52 View Post
sidhewolf, each secret has to be judged on it's own merit. In general you're right, but a few are worth keeping, when the truth is hurtful and the secret does no harm save for the fact that it was kept... Lies can be big or exeptionally small. The small ones may be as inoccuous as not liking a gift that was given. Why be hurtful saying so.

However it appears that some of the secrets you've become aware of have in themselves hurt you... perhaps shaken your confidence in your partner? Communication helps... presuming it isn't so gross a lie as to be unforgiveable... But if you talk about it, perhaps you can come to a common point of understanding where you can see how your partner thought the secret was better and he can come to see how it wasn't... and move forward.

moonraker, your perspective just seems too cynical, and manipulative for my tastes. Some might say self-serving... and those kinds of lies and secrets, in my opinion, end up costing you more in the long run than you gain in the short run.
Well Ozme, I do try to avoid saying hurtfull things whenever I can most times, that is unless I *intend* to slam with my words. Like the Gift received that I Really did not want. I express my appreciation I was thought of, and Given something, but at the same time if You knew me ITF, I have a Face that Tells Everything. I've only received one Gift that shook me with absolute horror lol. I closed the box and avoided the phone calls to check on my impression of it for a month lol. I peeked back in about once a week until I could behold this thing with my eyes, and that it was actually created for me at a jewelers by my Mother. Today I Love it....but it's something that grew on me <G>.

Yes Ozme, Your perception of my current situation is correct, in All of the above. I am hurt and I am angry. I don't and have never done well with secrets and lies that affect me. I hate seeing them hurt someone else. I don't do well when someone Changes an Agreement that affects me without re-negotiating it. And yes my core is shaken wholly in my Partner, and in my Life, by what has occurred. I have a lot of thinking to do on these things. An communicating I have been believe me.

But it occurred to me today WTF and whats the point of such things? And the Knowledge they hardly ever turn out well. Maybe things can move forward? I dunno right now.

Unforgiveness eats the one who does not forgive Really, and breaks the bridge we all may have to cross one day. So I can't see myself there carrying a galaoul like Tilk. There'ss only room for me in this body <G>.

I just think one should do what they say or Agree to, and re-negotiate or talk things through if some needs to be different. So The Time for talking was before now <sighs>. I hope in the long run things can turn positive....

Thank You Ozme for Your thoughts and input.

Respectfully~SidheWolf