Quote Originally Posted by gagged_Louise View Post
Sometimes "telling the truth" and being your honest and frank buddy who tells you (their old-friend/child/colleague-and-friend) the open truth can be an excellent way to put other people - you or me - down, under the inassailable cloak of frankness and love of truth. There is a "telling the truth" that's really a shielded way of poking other people in the face, or asserting they shouldn't believe in themselves, in what they do.

"Well, as your best friend I can tell you those shoes/that skirt don't really do you favour", "You know you have to do x and x and x and x before your mom-in-law arrives here? Have you forgotten? Ooh, how bad. Shouldn't you get a better hoover and a place that's easier to clean up? Oh my..." (yes in time I should, but I don't need you to tell me and push it into my mind again and again - and nor do I need to be reminded of that I don't have the cash to look for a new apartment right now, from someone who earns twice as much as I do...)

Telling the truth in this way is a kind of exercise of power, a way to keep other people - friends, relatives, grown-up children - feeling inadequate. And it can be totally invisible to the one who's doing it, or even a mutual activity, but in the end it gets grinding on any relation.
I don't care for Brutal Honesty either. But thats not what I'm talking about or was referring to when I started this thread. I was talking about what good do lies and secrets do on an intimate level? Breaking Agreements. That kind of thing.

Thinking though...it is also an excercise of Power to lie and hide it. Or is that just manipulation looking bigger?

Personally I'd rather know that the "shoes and shirt" dont look well on me. I can Always change if I know that. But thats me...everyone is different.

Respectfully~SidheWolf