Nikita's first level three assignment

[Nikita]

I just read your story and how it developed. I like the nasty feeling this story has. Surprisingly, it is not easy to write a good story using crude and nasty words like that. Congratualitions on a job well done.

Thank you. Thank you very much!

I think I'm a little late to comment on the details but here is something that occured to me: Length.
The second and third (more detailed) versions of your story seem to have the wrong length. They introduce too much backstory without fleshing it out fully. I think the first version had a better balance (very short<=>no information whatsoever).

Yes, I see what you mean. It doesn't mean agree, but I see.

I'm not recommending that you change it (the story works and that is what counts) but maybe you should consider how much "baggage" you put into your story the next time. If you give information to your readers, the bastards start to think.

ROFL ~snort~ ROFLMAO!!! Thinking bastards...what a dangerous combination! LOL

And once they do, they want a detailed background. Sometimes (especially for short stories of course) it is better not to explain some facts at all. Just present them. Satan_Klaus

Great point and it is a conundrum. How much information do you give using as few words as possible, and still have a story that pulls the reader in and retains their interest? For me, both those goals are hard to balance, but at the end of the day, I'd rather they want to read more than not finish the story at all.

Thank you for your feedback Satan. All good points to put into the think tank.