Quote Originally Posted by Dr Mabeuse
Just a note to say that I do distinguish between passion(maybe "emotion" is a better word) and control.

If a dom ever loses control, then you've moved out of the realm of BDSM and into the world of simple physical abuse, and I don't think anyone would find that acceptable, at least not as a BDSM practice.

I guess I mean to ask whether subs prefer their masters to show some emotion during a session or whether they like them cold and aloof. I'm afraid that using the word "passion" gave an idea of a master getting carried away and kind of foaming at the mouth, which wasn't what I meant.

I was playing around with the idea that part of the reason a sub enjoys being punished is that her pain "pays" for her master's pleasure. She's willing to put up with it because she sees how it arouses him.

But then I wondered about subs who prefer their masters to be very cold and unemotional. This is generally a more degrading and severe relationship, and I'd talked to some subs who refused to be with a dom like that because they didn't feel the emotional closeness or reward they got with a more demonstrative master.
I liked that you used the word passion. Yes, when one looses control then there is a problem. Passion is one thing and control is another but both are needed to be safe. Controling that passion, any kind of passion, is imparative. When you loose control of your passions then you have problems.

I mentioned before, I like a passionate dominate; one who is willing to participate with passion. Knowing that their passion matches mine only enhances my experience.

Some subs don't just "put up" with the pain. Some, like me, actually enjoy the pain. Seeing that the dom likes it just as much is an added bonus.

I am wondering about your statement, "sub enjoys being punished". I can't speak for all subs, but I sincerly hate punishment. When I am being punished the pain, that I would normally enjoy, is unfulling, humiliating and just awful. If I am in a scene and playing then I thoroughly enjoy the pain. It is a phycological state that I am put in that brings out which I will have: pain with pleasure that is fulfilling or pain with punishment that is more of a torment.

I say torment because just about any sub that is punished will go through many emotionaly states that are all confusing and overwhelming then to have the actual punishment handed out on top of that only adds to the "torment".

I hope I am making sense.

subwife