I find that the best thing to do it talk about your desires, fantasies.

For me i can't see starting a relationship without talking about your sexuality. Have you thought about just being completely open...or at least start small talk about your vanilla experience, and your partners, and see how she discusses things.

I also know I personally could not start a relationship unless i was comfortable enough with someone to discuss my life...and to me that includes my sexuality.

I wish you all the best, and i hope other will offer there advise on this subject also.

JT