Hi annie and thank you for helping and reading this.

There is no way I would endorse rape, and you have shown me that even though I might know where the story is going or what thoughts inspired it and that it is not real, to always be aware of the readers interpretation, perspective and feelings. I have hurt a few with my poetry and stopped writing them, I do not wish to make the same mistake with writing stories.
Yes I think you are right, there should have been more fear displayed and anger (again the mind set where I knew where the story was going)
Ah verbs, past and present! At least the future was not mixed in with this also
I will go back and reread this and try to find and fix these. I guess the best way would be to read it aloud and listen to the junctures.

Again thank you for taking the time to read and help out.
sincerely and hugs
~echoes~