I'm not sure if I understand the question correctly, but let me add my two cents nonetheless -- feel free to disregard them if it's just ramblings

Personally, I don't see a big problem in having interests that are not perfectly congruent. I mean, BDSM is such a wild field and everybody is different -- I might have some things on my toplist that others don't, and maybe in the long run this will cause problems in a relationship...but it is equally as likely that I come to expand my repertoire -- if I may put it like that -- and learn to appreciate something I didn't like before. Delia put it perfectly, I think. Yes, she did

I think it also depends very much on the situation. Does the other person want things that are completely "out there", meaning that it's absolutely not compatible with your own kinks? In that case I'd say playing with each other doesn't make much sense. However, I'm sure that in most cases there is something to explore. Again, as Delia said -- communication is key. Sometimes it's inexperience that is blocking the way. I know for myself that I have, by now and under the wings of one or two lovely doms, gone much further than I ever intended to go. I loved every step of it, and I wouldn't want to go back. I'm rambling again, ain't I?

Anyway, just my two cents.