Could the problem be broader and not just related to BDSM?

I do not know what your life has been like before you met your master, but if every time or so you had something good or valuable you ended up losing it or it was somehow taken away from you, then you could be unconsciously trying to screw up this seemingly satisfying relationship in order to avoid the pain of possibly losing it one day.

If it is unconscious you will of course not be aware of it. The question is: could this be what is happening?

Of course, only you can tell... I'm not suggesting anything.

We're all waiting to see how you're coping.

Take care.

Cheers