Thank you Tessa and Mad.
Mad, I can develop the breath play section more, how it felt, etc. I caught the misspellings after it was posted. (Bring it on Dean)
There are extra sentences that can be combined to make a smoother one that covers the points.
As far as the ending...I like to end those shorts like that and I've gotten spanked for doing it too.![]()
Would a continuation of this parable help?