Quote Originally Posted by sidhewolf View Post
I think once One has Grown to certain levels of this Style, be it Giving or Taking, when those Needs are unfullfilled, that that pain is just as great as the pleasure when those Needs were met.

Just my thoughts and experiences with these things.

Respectfully~SidheWolf
Speaking from the other side - as a giver, rather than a receiver of pain - the pain and the pleasure are so intermingled in who I am now that one without the other never feels right. Frankly, I can't go vanilla and truly enjoy sex anymore... well, for me, vanilla sex fells more like masturbation - a vital ingredient is missing. And giving pain without giving pleasure is that way for me as well: something is missing. I can be extremely harsh - but in a loving manner (and a community such as this is probably the only kind where I don't have to explain that).

Pain for punishment has increasingly begun to feel perverse to me. Yes, I punish my girl when there is a need to do so, and occasionally will give physical pain during the punishment - but I prefer other methods of punishment now - humiliation, or in extreme cases, a temporary abandonment. But pain only as a means of giving pain? No, as I've matured and settled comfortably into who and what I am, that no longer sits well with me. When my girl cries from the pain now - they are also tears of passion, and the rough use always segues into very gentle and tender moments: moments that can and often do last for hours after a severe session. After-care - but as a form of post-coital play as well - not all sexual, but always very sensual.

Stopping after giving the pain - leaving it there - with her crying just from the pain, hurts me and leaves me feeling incomplete. Some girls find that hard to accept at first, until they realize that the harsher pain they crave, which usually came from punishment with other Masters, can also come with love with me, and that the behaviour which, in the past gave them the punishment they needed, brings punishment they can't tolerate with me as well. As the girl grows into my way of doing things, we both find less and less need for punishment for bad behaviour, and far greater enjoyment in each other.