Bottom line. There must be parameters that guide your play. A safeword is sacred...PERIOD! When it is used the scene stops! If you as a dom are not able to adhere to this then you are an abuser and not a dom at all.

While there have been many good suggestions made here, communication is the best one. You both need to know the limits and what each is desirious of.

As the dom it is your responsibility to maintain control of a scene. Getting carried away is an excuse for posers and pretenders and there is no place for either in BDSM. Pushing limits is fine but you must know when and how to push them. The fact that you both play with no object in mind or set of ground rules is disturbing.

I would recomend that you both stop all play until you have come up with a game plan that will give you both what you need. And an agreement that a safeword will be adhered to.

No scene can be sucessfull if both parties are not getting what they both need and want.