OK, I have previously posted on this topic politely, I guess I need to be far more blatant!

Why the hell is everyone so down on this Dom and calling it abuse?

The wife has posted that she 'likes' the treatment.

The wife has posted that she has safewords, but she screws that system up by withdrawing them 5 minutes after issuing them.

The wife has stated that she posted here with her husbdom's concent.

The wife has stated that communications have improved and they are working on issues raised.

Man, they might not have it perfect yet, but any one here who has it perfect may lash the first whip on me.

There is no doubt that both husband and wife have gone into this without the knowledge that has been passed around the net that allow us to better understand our kinks and better communicate them with our partner. So they haven't got it perfect yet - have you?

Perhaps some want to condemn the husband for abuse because his tastes are a bit more extreme than their own. But I don't see the wife leaving the relationship or rushing to a shelter for abused wives. It appears to me she is about 90% happy with what is happening - and she has asked for advice on the other 10%. The husband has listened and is working on it. I feel that those that wish to still condemn him have fallen for the trap of being the protective online Dom that saves and rallies to the cause of subbies in distress.

To me, the wife is not in distress, she just needs to improve certain areas - and to do so, has to understand more about her own feelings - particularly not abusing her own safeword if she wants it taken seriously.

My sister was in a domestic violence relationship for 20 years - not even using D/s as an excuse. It was just vanilla abuse. I abhore any abuse, within the lifestyle or out, but at this stage all I can see is poor communication and lack of understanding of one's own needs. I see also that, perhaps with help from this forum, things are improving. I assure all, they will not continue to improve if the Dom is continued to be cast as the only villian in this situation.

Brosco