Safewords- what are they to you?

[_ID_]

A very interesting topic, and I have a few opinons on it.

As a Dominant, yes I believe in safe words. Yes I think they should be used.

As far as the particular situations that they would be used in? Well during a regular scene, there would be a need for a dual layer safe word. One for please slow ease the intensity of the activity (such as flogging, or paddling), and one to stop the scene completly due to something that happened during the scene that the submissive felt the need to stop the scene (trouble breathing, or the intensity of pain is too much, or the Dominant does something that wasn't negotiated, and thus breaks the trust that was given at the begining).

In a punishment scene, the use of a safeword is for one simple item. Life preservation, and safety.

In my opinion, it is the job of the Dominant to read the submissives actions, or design a means of the submissive expressing their approach to needing the safeword, this would be used in both a regular play scene, and a punishment scene (from fist to fingers exteneded to show need). This technique can be used in a scene with someone you have never played with before. With very little negotation time.

With that though, if the submissive reaches subspace, and the Dominant does something to bring the submissive out of subspace enough to have the ability to speak and use the safeword. I think that this is a near failure on the part of the Dominant, not the submissive. Unless previously negotiatied that this was going to happen.

V/R
IDCrewDawg

[whippedcream]

I think people should always have safewords.

I think a safeword is a must in any kind of role-playing situation, because it frees the sub up to cry and howl OH GOD NO MORE without having the top misread it. I have had people tell me we don't need a "safeword" per se, but any pleas to stop will be taken at face value. I think that's no fun, because I frequently find myself sqealing NO like a little girl, when in fact I mean exactly the opposite.

I don't like the idea of playing with no safeword under any circumstances, including a punishment scene. Submission and trust are key elements of the dynamic for me, and taking away the safe word eliminates them. You are trusting your partner when you allow him/her to do something that you could (and would kind of like to) stop. If you have no power to stop what's being done, it's not really trust anymore - it's just living with the inevitable.

Of course, a safeword is not a get-out-of-punishment-free card. I think that during punishment a sub loses its right to use a safeword for mere comfort purposes, but if something goes wrong or a sub really feels that the punishment is no longer within the negotiated bounds of the relationship, then the safeword is OK regardless of what kind of scene it is.