I'd also like to add that when I started my journey into the BDSM lifestyle I was pretty fucking far from safe and sane. Consensual, yes. But that was the sum of my good qualities. Today I would label the old me as abusive. A manipulative scum-bag who lied to and took advantage of submissive women for no other reason than to swell my ego a bit.

With this I want to say that I have a good vantage point from which to see which kind of guys are doing this. At least the ones who are like I was. And it's very very many.... but still... it doesn't have to be abuse. The worst and most morally corrupt idiot can still make a woman happy. A woman lied to can still be happy.

When I was at my worst I had a few girls who kept coming back for more. They still stop me in the street for a chat when we meet now 10 years later. Even though to most of these girls I was only being a total cunt. All the time. And they were miserable because of me.

Anyway, Internet complicates things. Because today abusive masters can use the SSC lingo and go through all the motions without actually being SSC. Information doesn't only allow would be abusers to learn more, and grow out of it, (which was a part of my own saving) but it could also be used as a tool for abusers to better hide their abuse.

I know one guy specifically who I'd label as abusive but who has great respect in my own BDSM organization. He's even my current slaves ex so I may have a bit clouded judgment here But it's far from clear he's abusive. It was not the reason my slave left him.