What's the difference between sweet BDSM love and abuse?

[TomOfSweden]

So this is a huge assumption but if I were in your place TomofSweden, I would be looking for a total lack of communication between the Dom/sub coupled with a quiet introverted withdraw from the sub and an illusion of subspace. I call it illusion because they will appear as though they are in subspace but I associate subspace with a good happy pleasing orbital experience whereas an abused person will go into a safe space that is created for their mental welfare. Multiple personalities are a very extreme example. For me though the biggest sign would be a sense that something was not right about the scene in addition to the lack in communication. I think it really might take one to know one or even have the ability to spot one.

That I think was some really good and helpful advice. I think withdrawal of a sub is one of those good things to keep an eye for. But people drop in and out of the scene all the time. I fear that an abusive BDSM relationship they'll both get increasingly isolated from the scene... at least if we follow that article which Alex posted. But I guess there's many faces of abuse.

So there you have it, my three cents worth and you can take it to the bank as I have more where that came from. *winks*

he he. Only a true dom would say "three cents"