Razor's potential Fourth Assignment?

[Nikita]

I intend on incorporating this characters into my 'Queen of Sorrow's Falls' series, should I ever reach the point in the story where they would become useful.

That's a shame, in my opinion. It is so close to being finished. You put some good work put into it. However, I'm impressed you are writing from a male sub point of view. There are not many stories in that category.

You could always incorporate this piece into your Queen of Sorrow's scenes later. Maybe you don't know this, but several 'known' authors have published parts of a story to see how it is received. Then they go on to incorporate it into a book they are working on.

If you want at least one example, contact me in pm and I'll tell you.

I see what you're getting at; how I left it is rather ambiguous, but I think it works for a story of that length.

What is the point of this exercise? I don't remember reading that the ending of a storyline be crafted to fit the length. I thought is was overall quality.

1) I'd be too scared to do anything with her.
2) Hmmm....
3) I think Gertrude's students would be too afraid of her to ever try anything that severe.
4) Yes, I think the ending kind of goes both ways. Brian learns to discipline his class effectively, but he is now further under Gertrude's control. Brian is slightly submissive, but not enough to actually enjoy what Gertrude was doing to him. So, Brian is rather pleased with the ending.

Okay, I'll buy 1. I think you know what to do about 2. Oh yes. Think about it. A slightly submissive male can be attracted and repelled by a Gertrude. It isn't always a sexual way, but, the interaction between the two has cause and effect.

Number 3 could go either way. Students already ignore him, that's why he got in trouble in the first place, right? They could play further into his descent into humiliation.

Tsk tsk tsk on number 4. I'm going to take back my jockstrap from Dean. Are you telling me that the point of the story is Brian gaining control over his class because he is further under Gertrude's control? So what?

If you are determined to stick with this ending at least expand on what he feels while she is exerting control. I mean real deep down admissions.

For example, let's take the part where Brian had to have Gertrude's marker fished out of his ass. He could have taken that marker home and put it someplace where looking at it would remind him of what it felt like when she shoved it in, the humiliation of having to have it taken out, or let your mind run wild. You can come up with better ideas. It is your story. I'm just trying to help here.

Go the extra mile Razor.

*hands jockstrap back to Dean*