Hi Silke,

Thank God I'm not the only "follower of fashion", I was getting worried for a moment.

I felt that I should pick up on one important point you raised- you are finding out where it is that you want to go and where you don't want.

I am of the firm opinion that a sub especially needs to have a clear game plan. Sure, you can adapt and find new things but for your own safety you have to know your direction. I have seen subs pushed too far too soon and it has turned a good experience into a nightmare. It is said that in an SM relationship it is the sub who wields the power as is the one who can say "NO"

I'm still scratching my head over Tojo's question. I don't think I fully understand it-senior moment Tojo, so please indulge me and let me know if I was on right track