Hi again

EDMUNDOSLOTH -

I am of the firm opinion that a sub especially needs to have a clear game plan. Sure, you can adapt and find new things but for your own safety you have to know your direction. I have seen subs pushed too far too soon and it has turned a good experience into a nightmare. It is said that in an SM relationship it is the sub who wields the power as is the one who can say "NO"
Thank you for backing me up on this...being submissive and still being responsible for myself at the same time is something that's rather confusing, but I'm getting there. And I agree with you on the point that a game plan is incredibly important. That's one major reason that I'm doing a lot of research and also a reason why I'm trying to learn a bit more about my desires in a safe environment like the Academy.

Reading the other posts I've been thinking...I'd be interested to find out whether the original question by Tojo will be answered differently by subs and the more domly ones. For the doms the answers could probably go either way depending on their own style, unique kinks or as Aesop suggested their access to information. But I'm wondering whether a lot of subs actually entered the scene with clear and uninfluenced ideas of where they want to go and bring those into their relationship. To me, the sheer dynamic of a D/s relationship suggests that the subs will be influenced and therefore will learn from their tops.

Can't wait to see more people posting on this...

Silke