Wow, this thread got buried deep! Well, so much for my plan of doing this every 100 posts, but hey... every hundred-ish posts is close enough. Also interesting to think that babies conceived as I was posting my previous contribution to this thread could now well have been born. That's a little trippy, so much water under the bridge.

So. What's changed, what's happened, how is my bdsm life different to what it was? Let's get ready to ramble!

The most obvious change of course is that I now have a reasonable degree of real-life experience, both as a top and a bottom. It's not a true D/s relationship, more just kinky sex in a more conventional relationship. It's been an eye-opener, finally getting to grips with the reality of the experience, beyond just a fantasy or an aesthetic appeal.

I recall the first time I really took a heavy (for my standards) session with the flogger and the cane. I was a complete mess, crying uncontrollably-, not so much from the physical pain but from the fear and my perceived inability to stop it. But looking back I knew I had a safeword, and there was a way to make it stop, which I didn't take. So obviously at some level I chose not to use it- i think out of a desire both to make my man proud of me, and to prove to myself that I really could take it.

I've also been changed to a great degree by the relationships I've forged with people online. While the situation is perhaps too complex and too personal to be delved into here with any depth, the experiences of the last six months, and the people I've shared it with has been amazing. Of course the first mention (and for fear of leaving out important people, probably the only one) has to go to my kitten, Snowflake. She's taught me an amazing amount about myself and the true intricacies of D/s relationships- it hasn't been all wine and roses, nor have we always gotten along perfectly- but I would not give up any moment of what we've shared.

Ultimately, I think I can boil down my experiences and lessons to a few bullet points, just for simplicities sake.

1. - Canes hurt. Alot.
2. - Even online, D/s relationships take an amazing amount of work, but can also be incredibly fulfilling.
3. - It turns out I actually can sub to another guy. Previously I'd only seen myself as being able to be the dom in a same-sex relationship, now I know it's not the case.
4. - Point 4 escapes me at the moment.

Ok, that's it. Comments, Opinions, Discussion?