I have a six year old who knows nothing yet, and I raise her as if I would live a "normal" lifestyle. I don't or would never confrontate her with my sexual desires, but we are open about everything. She's open about her feelings now (as we are too), and I hope that will stay that way in the future.

Now with parents.. they don't know a thing and I really would like to keep it that way. They are not open to alternative lifestyles and have a very clear opinion about everything that's out of the ordinary (to them).

With friends we are discrete as well, we have a few who know about it and don't have a problem with it at all. Some don't know and don't have to know. Before we go out with a group we both agree upon some rules (or if we feel like doing anything at all). These rules are mostly simple, with some codewords (like him disagreeing with what I order could be "neh are you really buying that?"). And sometimes I wear my cuffs under my clothes as a reminder.

So that's how we combine it all.