Thanks to everyone for your in put. I think that I'm being so negative because our relationship is coming out of one of those downs that Tojo described. Fetishdj, Alex, Icey and all, I'm going to follow your advice and try not to fret. It's good that I'm doing better and if I need a little extra help/pressure well, there's no harm in that.

Tomofsweden, I'll waste my life however I like . Currently I enjoy wasting it by fretting and doubting my abilities as a sub and seeking solace on an internet webforum with the 1 hour (1 hr!) of computer time I'm allowed per day.