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  1. #4
    Lost in Transition
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Deep south, where guilt is a virtue
    Posts
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    Say cheese! *gg*

    I took a brief look at your story and noted the other reviewer's remarks, specifically, the jumping around. I think you know what I mean.

    You might try one or two transitional sentences to get the reader from, say, inside the court house to the crowd outside.

    Just my opinion.
    Last edited by Nikita; 05-04-2006 at 09:14 PM.

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