I think you said it all when you said you want to be the "only"

Why settle for anything else then? Being alone is really better then what you are putting yourself through. You are in agony with want and need and your Dom isn't giving you either it seems.

I'm like you and had to be the only one. There is no way I would have accepted my Joe having others while he was with me. I also know he feels the same about me. You define your wants and needs and don't settle for anything else. Good luck to you.