do you mean a choice between a D/s relationship and bdsm sex?
i get a bit muddled up sorry as im not really used to the term bdsm relationships, but D/s relationships and bdsm as the kink/sexual side of it.

id take the relationship (D/s,) i used to be in vanilla r/ship and other than the minor games i could convince people to play i found the vanilla sex boring and vowed i would never ever go back to that.

but Icehawk is more important than any of the games we play and our r/ship would have to come first. im not saying it would be easy though lol and id miss it like hell.