Great, thoughtful, and oh so helpful post delia! And sisterhoney, yours was lovely as well. Both of you brought up a great point about lives outside of BDSM. When asked what *i* look for in a Dom, one of the things that comes immediately to mind is that i want someone that i can get along with OUTSIDE the bedroom. Great sex is wonderful, but in reality, it is a small percentage of our day to day lives. Real life in all it's glory comes barrelling in to steamroll us on a daily basis, and it's nice to have someone beside you that is compatible and supportive.

i too have known many couples online that have been together for YEARS and have never met r/l related too their family or geographic locations. Rushing into meeting someone in real life is not only unwise, but can often be extremely dangerous. i hope that everyone takes the time to truly get to know the person that you are thinking of meeting. Instant fixes sound lovely, but as delia said, eventually you have to get to know the person behind the play. Respect yourself, be safe, have fun playing, but don't forget general good sense. i've often wondered if someone would walk up to a person in r/l, talk to them for five minutes, and propose? To me, a collar has that much significance and when put into that perspective, it seems kinda silly, doesn't it?

i'll stop rambling now, but thanks again delia for such a great post!