All right, so I gather the internal is more important than the external? I've been reading the forums rather extensively and I have a greater understanding that there are many different levels of relationships (online, real life, 24/7). I have a tendency to only see things as all or nothing. While this may be a good thing eventually, I believe because acting on my desire to be in some sort of submissive role is so new, I have to change my view to a more moderate level.
My next question is more of a curious nature...A sub who is "whiney"---what would cause this? I mean, I would anticipate a person who would want to become involved in a dom/sub realtionship would do so with maturity and certainity that he/she is doing what he/she wants. I understand that not every situation fits every person but I still wouldn't understnad the need to whine or complain. (Is this niavity on my part?)