Quote Originally Posted by Thrasher View Post
Hey guys:
What is a bad Dom?
Are we talking about a bad person that just happens to be a Dom in D/s relationships?

Your experiences, please.
In correlation to this post I think that there are two types bad Doms.

The first, and I wouldn't even call them Doms are the ones who seek out the desparate lonely submissive and take advantage of thier need to submit and be controlled.
These types of Doms are trolls really, some take advantage of a submissives willingness to please for thier own self gratification. Some think the power exchange is really all about how much power they can exert over the relationship.

There are some Doms who are genuine but thier drawback is thier unwillingness to learn and grow with the sub. They only know one way and it is always thier way. They will never take the time to learn how to develop a good working relationship, and to teach the submissive how to learn and grow.

The second type of Dom is not what I would call a bad Dominant, but one that is not compatible.
There are a great many wonderful Dominants out there, but they are not always compatible to what a submissive needs.

I know that when I was feeling desparate and wanted to submit badly I found a Dom that was willing to do that for me.

Although we got along quite well, he just couldn't really provide me with what I really wanted. I could have continued along and would have been able to submit to him, but in the end, I felt I was being deceitful.
He wasn't a bad Dom, we got along very well, and I learned many things from him. Even though I could submit to him, I wasn't getting what I really needed.

So while a submissive can feel the strong urge to submit, even the best of Doms cannot fulfill thier needs successfully.
So it takes time, effort and patience to find a Dom with whom you can connect with.