MsCream, this is a little removed from the conversation timewise, but I'm new here and this is the first time I read your thread.

Maybe GS42 came closest: "you sound a bit insecure and avoid-y." You may be having trouble trusting. If there is no trust between two people, there can't be a relationship. And that goes the same for husband and wife or Dom/me and sub.

Slow down, take a step back and ask yourself if you are ready for a relationship. For some people it takes a little longer to get into it. Love at first sight, or love at first smack works well in stories but is less common in real life if you want something that is going to last.

You will probably feel more comfortable if you get to know your potential partner better. And this is if you are looking at a relationship from a top or bottom position (pun intended).