Well I've had some r/l encounters in the distant past, & played a little with my wife in not so distant past.

It's complicated for me, as I used to be a sub up til aout 18 months ago.

My wife says she wants to tie me up & so & so even now, & it doesn't do a thing for me.

To be specific, I had one particular 'fantasy' encounter with two women- the one that used to tie me up & tease me & a bi friend of hers.

It was like all my fantasies come true, two women tying me up, kissing each other & so forth. I even got to do the sex thing with both of them...

Did that affect my 'straight' sex life with my wife, soon after? Hell no.
In fact I don't think I've ever really fantasised about anyone or anything else while I'm um with her.

The thing is my wife (Girlfriend at the time) was in love with me. She was young, & has a touch that drives me wild 18 years later.

So called 'straight sex' has NEVER lost it's appeal compared to kinky sex. Not with my wife anyway- even now she's still a turn on, when her health is on track.

I think it's directly related to how much you care about the person, for me at least. I couldn't imagine playing with or having sex with someone I didn't care for.

Actually as an aside- I never felt comfortable with my wife tying me up!

To get slightly away from W/Bs question- I wouldn't want to play with someone even online unless I cared for them.

That fact was brought home rather convincingly when I played with a certain young lady just recently. It was so amazing, it made all the other times seem to pale in comparisom. The thing is I feel great chunks of love for her- that's what does it for me.

Tojo